Valumtimes Day
by IceCrome
Summary: It's Valentine's Day in Wammy's. The girls have gone insane. MattxMello


_Ice: Ah Valentine's Day. The day of the year that celebrates a fat kid that has peculiar aim._

_Characters © Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata_

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Ah Valentine's Day. The day of the year that celebrates a fat kid that has peculiar aim.

Nobody was really _excited_ about it; except the fair majority of the girls. Hell, _all_ of the girls. The boys were just puppets they could control into giving them miscellaneous crap that nobody actually _needs_.

Nevertheless, it was the only day Mello could actually get chocolate and not have to bitch about it _that much._ And Matt was the bitchee.

"Oh, this looks so good!"

"Mello, if you don't stop talking about chocolate for one minute, I'm afraid I might have to rip my brain out." Mello huffed, obviously not taking the threat seriously.

"And how exactly will that affect me?"

"Your bitching will go unheard. You'll only have Near. Which, I doubt you'd want. Same goes for him." Mello rolled his eyes, and spun around in the leather computer chair.

"You still owe me shit. It's Valentine's day; I expect nothing less."

"You're expectations are too high." Mello threw a nearby pillow at his head.

"Ow." Matt rubbed the top of his head. They sat in silence before a loud shout was heard through the door. Matt opened up the door.

"Yeah?"

"The girls have gone insane!" Jason, ranking sixth, said. "They're going around tryin' to trap boys n' kiss 'em! A few of them even broke down m' door!" Both stared at the brunette, before immediately bolting out the door, taking their precious lives and valuables with them. Chocolate and a DS with the newest Zelda game, respectively.

Mello was leading, and Matt and Jason followed in hopes Mello had some fucking clue to where they were going.

"Hey! I see three boys! THEY'RE ALONE. _DESTROY THEM._" Adriana, ranking tenth, yelled out to her female cohorts.

"Shit, shit, shit, crap, damn, shit, crap, shit, shit, crap, crap, damn, son of a bitch, shit…" Mello swore incessantly, as he tried to go to a nearby tree he was always climbing up with Matt. He knew Jason, as an acquaintance, and decided what the hell; he didn't deserve the wrath of a thirteen-year-old girl.

A rabid thirteen-year-old-girl.

Mello finally made it to his goal. The tree would surely protect them from harm! Surely!

Mello climbed up hastily, with Matt and Jason following behind shortly. They all safely made it into the large maple.

"Oh jeez, they're getting pretty demanding now…" Jason looked down at them, the hordes of tiny hands grabbing up, trying to get what they so desired. Matt and Mello stared at him.

"…What?"

"…Your sacrifice will not be in vain." Mello said, face as dead as stone.

"Wha?!" Mello pushed him off the tree of safety.

"AAAHMELLO, YOU SUCK!" They saw his hand sink below the surface, and realized that he had been shredded…of his _dignity_. Matt brought his hand up to salute him.

"You shall be missed." Mello joined in the saluting.

"WE WANT _MATT!_" Matt clung to a branch.

"Why me?!"

"Because nerds are cute now!" Matt blinked.

"Should I be flattered or scared?"

"_**BOTH.**_"

"Aw hell on a stick." Matt was still clinging to the tree branch, clinging for his dear dignity, respect, pride, and clothing.

Mostly clothing.

"Oi, Mello, give some help, ya hear?!" Matt nervously said, glancing over at Mello. Mello, angry Mello, PMSy Mello, second-to-best Mello, his mind was currently drawing the biggest blank ever known to man.

"Uuuhhheerrrr…hell, I don't know Matt! We just need to stay here until they all get tired."

_One Hour Later_

"The hell? Why aren't you bloody females tired yet?" Matt said, obviously disgruntled.

_Two hours later_

"OI! FEMALES! WHAT THE BLOODY RUBBINS IS GOING ON?!"

_Three hours later_

"Meeeeeeehhh…" Mello moaned, obviously irritated by the lack of chocolate he had eaten in the last few hours. The total count coming to two bars.

"Matttttt, just sacrifice yourself. It shouldn't be all that bad." Matt grunted.

"Bloody…are you kidding me? I want to keep my shirt thank you. If you can think of another way out of this, Captain Obvious, that would be oh-so delightful." Mello grimaced.

"Stop being sarcastic you idjit, and help me think of a way out of this." Matt blinked, and his mind was also drawing a blank.

(Un)Fortunately, Mello had thought of a way.

He firmly pressed his lips against Matt's.

"HMM!" Matt flailed, as he desperately tried to break free. The girls sighed in disappointment.

"Aw, all that time wasted for nothing!" Matt was still flailing, not paying attention to the girls leaving.

"What in god's name was that?!"

"That was out way out."

"…That was the worst plan ever!" Mello blinked.

"It got them to leave."

"…YOU KISSED ME!"

"And? We both know it meant nothing."

"Then why, pray tell, did I fell a bloody tongue on my lip?" Mello blinked several times.

"…that was your own."

"NO. NO IT WAS NOT."

"YES. YES MATT, IT WAS." Mat was about to yell at Mello again, before he lost his balance, forcing him off the tree.

"Oh shi-!" Matt yelped loudly as he felt a sharp twinge of pain go up his spine to his skull.

"Oh crap! Matt you alright?"

"Do I LOOK alright you idjit? No! Get me to the infirmary, dammit!"

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"Oh my, you had a hard fall, didn't you young man?" The old nurse smiled warmly at Matt, who was twitching in pain.

"Yeah, yeah. It isn't m' fault, though." Matt's gaze went over to Mello.

"Oh dear…well, you have a small bump on your head, but everything else is fine, hon. you can go on back now." Matt nodded, and jumped off the bed. Mello rolled his eyes and followed him out.

"Jeez Mel. You've caused me all sorts of stuff today." Mello scoffed.

"Hm. At least I got you out of the girlie situation." Matt blinked, and smirked devilishly.

**PERV MODE ACTIVATED: TARGET ACQUIRED**

"Hey Mello…" Matt said with a devious grin spreading on his face.

"Yeah? What?"

"I wonder…" Matt pressed his lips to Mello's.

_TOUNGE'D_

"Yup! Tastes like chocolate!" Mello stumbled away, blushing like a madman and disoriented to the extreme.

"OMG."

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_Ice: HATE, HATE, HATE the ending. Grfagfahj. _

_Uhhh, yeah. Blame my complete inexperience with kissing scenes for the lack of detail. I fail uberly. I know._

_R&R._


End file.
